the inchoate thesis does some soul searching

turned in my thesis revisions today. i'm more than exhausted. i went to bed as the sun started to rise this morning at 5am.

current sentiments? dear friend l. asked if i had a deadline hangover. i think that's the best term for what i feel right now. you want to be happy, because the worst is over. but all you feel is remorse over that paragraph that was still unclear, that word that could have been changed, that source you forgot to add, or that figure you cited but forgot to paste in the document. or, especially in my case, that you want to throw it all away and start over because you think you could do a hell of a better job if you started from scratch.

whatever.

the subject line for my email to my advisor read: the inchoate thesis, 2nd attempt.

the ideas and the assertions i make in my thesis are still new ideas, raw and needing some time to mature and change. i have commitment issues when it comes to writing, so i'm surprised the words came out at all. i'm going to be studying fresno for likely a large chunk of my life, so if it remains inchoate, well--i have a lifetime to perfect my thoughts and ideas.

next up: the post-deadline-hangover nap, which is always a sweet, sweet thing.

then off to utica for the evening to give a presentation. tres epuisant!