Sunday, July 8, 2007

I've always wanted to have a blog. I have a journal, which I write in every so often, but really more so if something large or grandiose happens in my life.  In fact, I believe the last entry was the night I got engaged, and the entry before that was the day I graduated from college. I used to frequent the journal much more when my life was ever-so-dramatic-- fights with roommates, getting my heart broken, putting new crushes in the intrigue file, struggling to find my identity and independence, figuring out who God really was and if I wanted him in my life (only to discover that he's not leaving any time soon), deciding what I was going to do in life (should I be a Doctor in a third world country or a lawyer?) and so on and so forth.  

Right now, I'm in a place in life where I can't tell if I am apathetic or just plain content.  I have my 8 to 5 office job (which, surprisingly enough, I love). Not because of the hours, but because of so many other things, which, I assume, I will write about later. I'm getting married in just about 3 months, which I am quite ecstatic about.  Someone asked me the other day if I felt too young to get married, being that I am at the ripe old age of twenty-two.  I don't know if I might ever feel completely ready.  I am a person who loves new adventures and trying the next step--but at the same time, I'm a very hesitant person at the last minute. Moving away to school was an amazing experience for me--but I don't think I felt ready for it all the day I moved. But I knew myself, that I am very adaptable, that I would be a better person for it, and I don't regret a day. There's an episode of Scrubs that really describes the feeling I have about getting married. I believe it's in the second season--Carla has turned down a million proposals from Turk, and cannot figure out why she keeps rejecting the guy she loves more than anything.  There's a moment she has at the nurses station where I don't think she's even talking to anyone in particular, maybe Elliot- where she acknowledges her fears and realizes that despite them all, she still only wants to be with Turk, more than anything. That monologue, I must say, was quite profound for Scrubs.

I suppose I best be getting back to enjoying my Sunday evening in typical summer fashion: barbeque, playing with photoshop, and trying to escape Parker the Psycho Puppy.