finish line

you can do it. two and a half days left. it's just a defense draft, you can always return to it. it's not going to solve the world's problems. in fact, no one may ever read it, and that's okay. it's your first attempt to articulate the way you see things. you may change your mind in the future, and disagree with what you write today. it's good, though. even emerson thinks so. what happened to mom isn't going to happen to you. you have a solid support network here in ithaca to back you up. mom didn't. no one believed in her, and so she didn't believe in herself. people believe that you have something to say, something that is unique. speak that voice. don't hide in anxiety and fear. stop obstructing yourself from progress because the perfect words don't appear on the page, the perfect ideas, the things that people will wonder why they haven't been discussed yet. it's a fucked up mess that is so much bigger than you realize. do not carry that burden alone. this is your catharsis. this is your first chance to speak from the outside.

and know that your family will always love you, despite the cognitive dissonance you may create in their mind. that's okay. it's all going to be okay.