bookshelves

okay, really. you know that whenever you go to someone's house often times you find yourself wandering over to their bookshelf to judge explore their book collection. i know i certainly do. but it's just so much fun, because the books people own can say a whole lot about who they are--their personality, their interests, their guilty pleasures (in my case...john grisham. eek. i said it.)

scotty and i have an extremely eclectic book collection. it's not like we have everything from proust to homer (which neither of us own). but. we both come from fairly religious households and cultural backgrounds that are at times starkly different than the world in which we now live. which is pretty academic and full of smarties. i think that our bookshelf is a good analogy for our the current state of our relationship. full of contradictions and often uneasy with the other.

noticing that friends often make a beeline for my bookshelf when they came over, i decided to make it entertainment. i strategically placed the communist manifesto next to the bible and darwin's writings next to 'the case for faith' (author who devoutly argues for Creationism). i'm not sure if anyone even noticed it or got a laugh but it was hilarious to me just to know it was there.

scotty has been reading a ton of theology books this last year, and those are heavily represented on our bookshelf. we are in different places as far as our theology goes right now, and he gallantly offered to put his books on the bottom shelf, or in a totally different place to spare some potentially awkward conversations with my friends about my faith. at first i was relieved--i mean come on, i'm not exactly a john piper fan or a calvinist.

but really? i decided not to care. we are who we are. in that spirit, i rearranged yet again, in my favorite organizing system: color coding. looks nice doesn't it?



i like how it turned out. yes, now people can see our copy of investing for dummies out in the open, but damn, that bookshelf looks cute. i may have left a few funny juxtapositions for laughs when i get desparate for comedic relief--oh freud, how did you make it next to love and respect? hehehe.

Merchar aka Mom

My mom is awesome. I just got off the phone with her. We talked for almost 4 hours. At home it is standard to sit on the "north courtyard" at my parents' house with either a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and discuss life with her for hours.

She likes to analyze you and herself. She is full of contradictions and I let her know that all of the time. She is the reason I am me in so many ways. She encourages me to be a feminist even though she is not one. She is inwardly feisty yet extremely, annoyingly, self-deprecatingly meek and humble. She encourages me to question things that she cannot or will not herself. She knows the importance of coming to your own conclusions and not accepting things at face value. She questions many things about herself--although irritating at times, it has shown me the importance of openness and honesty about yourself, maybe to a fault. She is infamous for her probing questions.

Sometimes her naivete about the world is a little shocking for someone of her age and intelligence. But then she will text you and sign off with 'lol' and you wonder if she really is that naive about the world and pop culture or if she just feigns innocence for the fun of it. She doesn't like to be called a closet liberal despite her views on foreign policy and the war because she voted for Bush twice and really likes Sarah Palin (I don't believe it, but I'll respect her wishes begrudgingly.)

Most people really like my mom. In high school my sisters and I had some friends that would come over just to hang out with her instead of us. Maybe because they really needed a good therapy session and she will analyze you without you even realizing it. People who don't like my mom are just shallow and don't get her and it's really too bad because I think she is often misunderstood. Possibly because she's so full of contradictions that you have to get to know her to take it all in and appreciate the confusion for what it is and not try to fit her into some silly box that you've contrived.

We call her Merchar and I have no clue why. But that's just our family. The original Merchar was actually a siamese cat we had for like 15 years, Milo. Most pets of ours usually start with one name and end with a completely different one. That's mostly Monique's doing. Just ask her what her latest name is for her husband. Or don't ask, if you don't like hearing peoples' pet names for each other. Yvette doesn't really. Nevertheless, we call my mom Merchar respectfully and lovingly and her license plate is even 'MERCHAR'. So if you ever drive by my mom just honk and wave and she will probably freak out that a stranger just did that (even if she knows you, her vision is horrible and she won't recognize you) and she'll then try to analyze later why some random person on the freeway would do such a thing.

I love my mom.

friday morning treat!

so, i woke up this morning after a glorious 8.5 hours of sleep to catch up for the last 5 days

(i've been going to sleep past 3am every night this week...damn final projects)

and i realized, i need coffee!

but (shocker) i don't know how to make coffee with our machine

and then i realized i could always go here

except i've already given them so much of my money its crazy

but then i realized i had this!



oh happy day!

Things I Like: First Edition

I like randomness. Always have, always will. So in the spirit of procrastination, with it being study week and all and me having ten million papers, projects, maps, posters, presentations, and finals due, here's what is actually on my mind right now:

1) Broccoli. Steamed. Yummy.


2) Kate Nash--the track Mouthwash, specifically.

3) Google Public Data. This is going to revolutionize the world. Transparent data, finally!

That's all for now. Back to economics for now!

a different end to lent this year

after agonizing for so long, i never found something to give up for lent this year. i really should have kicked facebook to the curb for 40 days. talk about procrastination.

however.

we did have an enjoyable easter potluck.

the sun was out...

there was lots of yummy food...



and fabulous friends.

i'm pretty sure this is what communion is supposed to be--the breaking of bread together, the telling of stories in good company, the sharing of anxieties and issues--and yes, the usual gossip about the profs.

lovely day.

easter always makes me feel like a robot.

it's good friday. and i don't feel anything. i don't think i ever have.

part of me always wants to know what's wrong with me. did i not pray enough? do i not love God enough? did i not know how to open up my heart enough, be vulnerable enough, to feel the conviction of the cross? what is wrong with me?

but i have that tiny little spark of hope that keeps me carrying on. i know in my heart that i am where i'm supposed to be. i can't really explain it in words. but who can, really, explain their soul? it's a frustrating, lonely road i feel like i'm on. but at least i feel at peace with myself. even if the old me would say i'm a robot. 16-year old dani, please stop judging me.

wistful thinking

i can't stop thinking about how much i just want to stop.

school has officially overrun my life.

and all i want to do now is sit on the north courtyard at my parents' house on a crisp morning with a cup of coffee and write.

i miss writing my thoughts. a lot. and now i feel i have so much to process here after being in ithaca--but my brain is continually being filled, filled, filled. and i don't wanna read about gentrification anymore. and as much as i care about democracy in the favelas of rio, i just cannot fathom writing eight inspired pages about it by thursday.

give me peace or give me....anything. anything but school right now.

you can find me on may 14 after 11:30am at gimme coffee on state street. with my latte. and my journal. and a smile.