bien vivant

today

2010-08-18T21:21:00.000-04:00

today. today was a different day. today i woke up at 2:47 am to the sound of pouring rain. today i walked ten blocks in semi-flooded streets with sheets of rain coming down to union station at 3:15 am. today i took my first amtrak train in the northeast corridor. today i jumped on a plane on a whim after booking my flight the night before. today i felt enveloped by the familiar green rolling hills as i landed home, ithaca home. today i played with beautiful baby phoenix. today i started a mission that may change my life. today i had a lovely takeout dinner with friends on their second-story porch. and today, (perhaps tommorrow), another baby takes its first breath. micah.

i have no words

2010-08-17T22:17:00.002-04:00

for the constant state of disarray that is my life since july. i have to be awake in less than five hours to walk to union station, catch a train, then a shuttle, then a plane. and then i'll be back in my happy place, away from the troubles of the district.

oh yeah. i moved to washington.

the only news you'll ever need

2010-06-25T17:45:00.001-04:00

Barack Obama's facebook feed:

http://www.slate.com/id/2258126/?from=rss

so typical

2010-06-03T23:44:00.002-04:00

of course, the latest awesomeness mashup of coffee and chocolate WOULD only be available in portland OR. and at stumptown roasters, the hipster maven no less.

blurg!

but we can still lust after the coffee bar, can't we?

neon makes everything better

2010-05-03T21:22:00.003-04:00

scotty is having a very difficult conversation with his family right now. we are pretty sure we are not moving back to california, at least for now. i kind of feel like a villain in all of this, but it's just plain complicated.

but i found that someone spilled neon paint on the sidewalk below my window. and there's nothing like a little splash of neon to make everything seem okay.

the inchoate thesis does some soul searching

2010-04-27T14:42:00.002-04:00

turned in my thesis revisions today. i'm more than exhausted. i went to bed as the sun started to rise this morning at 5am.

current sentiments? dear friend l. asked if i had a deadline hangover. i think that's the best term for what i feel right now. you want to be happy, because the worst is over. but all you feel is remorse over that paragraph that was still unclear, that word that could have been changed, that source you forgot to add, or that figure you cited but forgot to paste in the document. or, especially in my case, that you want to throw it all away and start over because you think you could do a hell of a better job if you started from scratch.

whatever.

the subject line for my email to my advisor read: the inchoate thesis, 2nd attempt.

the ideas and the assertions i make in my thesis are still new ideas, raw and needing some time to mature and change. i have commitment issues when it comes to writing, so i'm surprised the words came out at all. i'm going to be studying fresno for likely a large chunk of my life, so if it remains inchoate, well--i have a lifetime to perfect my thoughts and ideas.

next up: the post-deadline-hangover nap, which is always a sweet, sweet thing.

then off to utica for the evening to give a presentation. tres epuisant!

finish line

2010-03-23T02:08:00.003-04:00

you can do it. two and a half days left. it's just a defense draft, you can always return to it. it's not going to solve the world's problems. in fact, no one may ever read it, and that's okay. it's your first attempt to articulate the way you see things. you may change your mind in the future, and disagree with what you write today. it's good, though. even emerson thinks so. what happened to mom isn't going to happen to you. you have a solid support network here in ithaca to back you up. mom didn't. no one believed in her, and so she didn't believe in herself. people believe that you have something to say, something that is unique. speak that voice. don't hide in anxiety and fear. stop obstructing yourself from progress because the perfect words don't appear on the page, the perfect ideas, the things that people will wonder why they haven't been discussed yet. it's a fucked up mess that is so much bigger than you realize. do not carry that burden alone. this is your catharsis. this is your first chance to speak from the outside.

and know that your family will always love you, despite the cognitive dissonance you may create in their mind. that's okay. it's all going to be okay.

twentyfive.

2010-03-07T13:51:00.004-05:00

at about 12:03 eastern sunday morning, in the company of good friends and under the influence of a bit of cabernet sauvignon, i declared my twenty-sixth year the year of letting go.

here's to the surrender to serendipity!

mail day!

2010-03-01T17:23:00.011-05:00

today was a very exciting mail day. i documented the fun with pictures.

who do i know that lives in milwaukee?!

ooh! i know what this is! but with a brat fry? this is already amazing, and i've only seen the cover.

i just love this design. my friend meghan's sister emily designed it. fabulous, no? and the fun is only getting started.

hey, this person also lives on green[e] street! but who are they? and in brooklyn? intrigue.

the 2010 buy local eat seasonal tea towel by claudia pearson illustration! what?! how?! oh, right. my birthday is sunday. but who?! thank you, mystery person!

now, if my new yorker could just arrive, mail day would be complete.

laying in bed and watching the snow fall

2010-02-02T23:33:00.000-05:00

i just wanted to write about this sweet moment so someday i can go back and remember these few seconds of peace.

so quiet, so serene, so beautiful it takes me away from the stress for a few minutes.

i live in a snow globe.

but that silly california bear on my wall keeps reminding me this isn't forever.

oh, HELL no

2009-12-15T10:44:00.000-05:00

just found the inspiration i need to kick ass on the paper i'm currently writing:

http://rawstory.com/2009/11/beck-yapping-palin-kitchen/

this was a way too upsetting reminder of all the times i was told by my male peers that my "place" was in the kitchen, growing up.

while i have a lot of issues with palin, i have absolutely no tolerance for this type of male chauvinistic behavior.

i swear, if i see a beck book at christmas, i'll throw it in the fireplace.

good god, how i love emerson

2009-11-03T19:15:00.000-05:00

I've had to read some of the essays of Ralph Waldo Emerson for my American Political Thought class. This guy puts to words ideas that I've been thinking about for years. He's completely provocative but completely natural, all at once. I'm positive I'll be reading him until the day I die.

"Prayer that craves particular commodity, anything less than all good, is vicious. Prayer is the contemplation of the facts of life from the highest point of view. It is the soliloquy of a beholding and jubilant soul."

Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

"Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet."

Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Circles"

autumn. today. glorious.

2009-10-25T16:04:00.000-04:00

i told scott today that from now on, i will be depressed every october. why? because i live in the most splendid place on earth to enjoy autumn.

we started here to enjoy lattes while getting some work done with leah. they just finished renovating it and the new layout blew my socks off. i mean, a whole other room with tables and cushy booths, shielded from the noise of the espresso bar? happiness.

and then we went here.

and we got this stuff.

and then we sat here for awhile and enjoyed life.

then we decided to go to here to do some browsing. we spent 60 cents.

i hope whatever city we land in next will be as delightful as this one.

neon colors, leaving on jet planes and whatnot

2009-09-29T10:24:00.000-04:00

so....school has sequestered my attention already.

and so has traveling! i feel like i am on the road lots.

i was just in montreal. they like neon colors. so do i. that's where the photo above was taken. arcade fire's "neon bible" album makes much more sense now.

we also were in the adirondacks last weekend. good times learning how to start fires. scotty and i (being the city people that we are) watched a you tube video before we left on "how to start a campfire". yep. we are an embarrassment to many of our family and friends.

and next up on the tour of north america:

washington dc (conference)
fresno (research)
nyc (with corey and lissa!)
catskills (thanksgiving)
and then back to california (christmas)

with more probable trips to dc and california to follow into the spring...

oh boy oh boy.

sample first day conversation

2009-08-27T23:51:00.000-04:00

me: hey, it's great to see you again.
person: yeah, same here. did you know your eyes are all red? are you on drugs? dani, i've told you those things aren't good for you...
me: yes, i'm aware. allergic conjunctivitis. caused by pollen, ragweed, etc. not drugs.
person: ewwww, get away! (while jumping a step backwards)
me: not contagious. hence the allergic.
person: well you look really bad.
me: thanks.
person: you should wear your sunglasses indoors today.
me: yeah. (putting sunglasses on)
person: you look funny.
me: thanks.

and, repeat.

new semester, new personality

2009-08-23T21:42:00.000-04:00

in reconvening with my school friends yesterday--which was oh-so-glorious (more on the CRP love fest later), unsurprisingly, the conversation stumbled into how the next semester would be treating us. we've been through the emotional rollercoasters, breakdowns and neurotic fits of rage and bouts of hilarious laughter for no explainable reason, and we bonded through it all. but what is to come of the next 3 1/2 months of our lives?

my first semester, i was happy social girl. onto one party and then off to the next. i loved school and thrived.

into the second, i stressed myself into a pit of despair. five tough classes, ta'ing for an extremely demanding prof, design competition, and writing a proposal for my internship which still has yet to end. oh and maintaining a relationship with scotty? yeah. you could say i cried.

summer i was overwhelmed. struck by everything nyc had to offer and confused about where i ended up in life. not sure i had ever experienced a feeling people call 'loneliness' and not sure how to handle it once said 'emotion' was identified. got a slight obsession with soft serve and gilmore girls.

and fall? it's my favorite season, hands down. i'm predicting OCD mode. i've got a thesis to write, which means many many hours on my own schedule. i've got a few more activities to juggle, and i'm striving for a more balanced life. iCal is already my best friend. i've got six different calendars with six different to-do lists....and counting. it's a brilliant application. i'm going to have almost every hour of the day accounted for...that includes eating, sleeping, and chill time. it's like what i used to do as a child. no really, at age 9, this is what my daily schedule looked like:

6:00am Wake Up
6:05am Take Bath (we didn't have a shower)
6:25am Brush Hair
6:30am Blow-dry Hair
6:45am Curl Hair
6:55am Eat Breakfast
7:10am Pack Backpack
7:20am Make Bed
7:30am Get Bus To School

and then somewhere between then and now i became a person who hasn't made her bed in like three years. the word rebellious my mom might deem too much of an understatement.

so here's to hoping i won't rebel against my attempt to become my 9-year-old self again.

food for thought

2009-08-13T13:01:00.000-04:00

"A 'change in heart' is in fact the alibi of people who do not wish to endanger the status quo."

George Orwell, in reference to Charles Dickens' ability to provide harsh social commentary on the Victorian era without renouncing the entire system of tyranny

(to understand the context more, read this article about To Kill A Mockingbird)

chew away.

bookshelves

2009-08-02T23:02:00.000-04:00

okay, really. you know that whenever you go to someone's house often times you find yourself wandering over to their bookshelf to ~~judge~~ explore their book collection. i know i certainly do. but it's just so much fun, because the books people own can say a whole lot about who they are--their personality, their interests, their guilty pleasures (in my case...john grisham. eek. i said it.)

scotty and i have an extremely eclectic book collection. it's not like we have everything from proust to homer (which neither of us own). but. we both come from fairly religious households and cultural backgrounds that are at times starkly different than the world in which we now live. which is pretty academic and full of smarties. i think that our bookshelf is a good analogy for our the current state of our relationship. full of contradictions and often uneasy with the other.

noticing that friends often make a beeline for my bookshelf when they came over, i decided to make it entertainment. i strategically placed the communist manifesto next to the bible and darwin's writings next to 'the case for faith' (author who devoutly argues for Creationism). i'm not sure if anyone even noticed it or got a laugh but it was hilarious to me just to know it was there.

scotty has been reading a ton of theology books this last year, and those are heavily represented on our bookshelf. we are in different places as far as our theology goes right now, and he gallantly offered to put his books on the bottom shelf, or in a totally different place to spare some potentially awkward conversations with my friends about my faith. at first i was relieved--i mean come on, i'm not exactly a john piper fan or a calvinist.

but really? i decided not to care. we are who we are. in that spirit, i rearranged yet again, in my favorite organizing system: color coding. looks nice doesn't it?

i like how it turned out. yes, now people can see our copy of investing for dummies out in the open, but damn, that bookshelf looks cute. i may have left a few funny juxtapositions for laughs when i get desparate for comedic relief--oh freud, how did you make it next to love and respect? hehehe.

Merchar aka Mom

2009-08-01T15:23:00.000-04:00

My mom is awesome. I just got off the phone with her. We talked for almost 4 hours. At home it is standard to sit on the "north courtyard" at my parents' house with either a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and discuss life with her for hours.

She likes to analyze you and herself. She is full of contradictions and I let her know that all of the time. She is the reason I am me in so many ways. She encourages me to be a feminist even though she is not one. She is inwardly feisty yet extremely, annoyingly, self-deprecatingly meek and humble. She encourages me to question things that she cannot or will not herself. She knows the importance of coming to your own conclusions and not accepting things at face value. She questions many things about herself--although irritating at times, it has shown me the importance of openness and honesty about yourself, maybe to a fault. She is infamous for her probing questions.

Sometimes her naivete about the world is a little shocking for someone of her age and intelligence. But then she will text you and sign off with 'lol' and you wonder if she really is that naive about the world and pop culture or if she just feigns innocence for the fun of it. She doesn't like to be called a closet liberal despite her views on foreign policy and the war because she voted for Bush twice and really likes Sarah Palin (I don't believe it, but I'll respect her wishes begrudgingly.)

Most people really like my mom. In high school my sisters and I had some friends that would come over just to hang out with her instead of us. Maybe because they really needed a good therapy session and she will analyze you without you even realizing it. People who don't like my mom are just shallow and don't get her and it's really too bad because I think she is often misunderstood. Possibly because she's so full of contradictions that you have to get to know her to take it all in and appreciate the confusion for what it is and not try to fit her into some silly box that you've contrived.

We call her Merchar and I have no clue why. But that's just our family. The original Merchar was actually a siamese cat we had for like 15 years, Milo. Most pets of ours usually start with one name and end with a completely different one. That's mostly Monique's doing. Just ask her what her latest name is for her husband. Or don't ask, if you don't like hearing peoples' pet names for each other. Yvette doesn't really. Nevertheless, we call my mom Merchar respectfully and lovingly and her license plate is even 'MERCHAR'. So if you ever drive by my mom just honk and wave and she will probably freak out that a stranger just did that (even if she knows you, her vision is horrible and she won't recognize you) and she'll then try to analyze later why some random person on the freeway would do such a thing.

I love my mom.

friday morning treat!

2009-05-08T10:27:00.000-04:00

so, i woke up this morning after a glorious 8.5 hours of sleep to catch up for the last 5 days

(i've been going to sleep past 3am every night this week...damn final projects)

and i realized, i need coffee!

but (shocker) i don't know how to make coffee with our machine

and then i realized i could always go here

except i've already given them so much of my money its crazy

but then i realized i had this!

oh happy day!

Things I Like: First Edition

2009-05-04T23:52:00.000-04:00

I like randomness. Always have, always will. So in the spirit of procrastination, with it being study week and all and me having ten million papers, projects, maps, posters, presentations, and finals due, here's what is actually on my mind right now:

1) Broccoli. Steamed. Yummy.

2) Kate Nash--the track Mouthwash, specifically.

3) Google Public Data. This is going to revolutionize the world. Transparent data, finally!

That's all for now. Back to economics for now!

a different end to lent this year

2009-04-12T20:04:00.000-04:00

after agonizing for so long, i never found something to give up for lent this year. i really should have kicked facebook to the curb for 40 days. talk about procrastination.

however.

we did have an enjoyable easter potluck.

the sun was out...

there was lots of yummy food...

and fabulous friends.

i'm pretty sure this is what communion is supposed to be--the breaking of bread together, the telling of stories in good company, the sharing of anxieties and issues--and yes, the usual gossip about the profs.

lovely day.

easter always makes me feel like a robot.

2009-04-10T21:26:00.001-04:00

it's good friday. and i don't feel anything. i don't think i ever have.

part of me always wants to know what's wrong with me. did i not pray enough? do i not love God enough? did i not know how to open up my heart enough, be vulnerable enough, to feel the conviction of the cross? what is wrong with me?

but i have that tiny little spark of hope that keeps me carrying on. i know in my heart that i am where i'm supposed to be. i can't really explain it in words. but who can, really, explain their soul? it's a frustrating, lonely road i feel like i'm on. but at least i feel at peace with myself. even if the old me would say i'm a robot. 16-year old dani, please stop judging me.

wistful thinking

2009-04-06T23:02:00.000-04:00

i can't stop thinking about how much i just want to stop.

school has officially overrun my life.

and all i want to do now is sit on the north courtyard at my parents' house on a crisp morning with a cup of coffee and write.

i miss writing my thoughts. a lot. and now i feel i have so much to process here after being in ithaca--but my brain is continually being filled, filled, filled. and i don't wanna read about gentrification anymore. and as much as i care about democracy in the favelas of rio, i just cannot fathom writing eight inspired pages about it by thursday.

give me peace or give me....anything. anything but school right now.

you can find me on may 14 after 11:30am at gimme coffee on state street. with my latte. and my journal. and a smile.

Economic Crisis, how I loathe thee....(why must you take my favorite things!)

2009-02-05T20:14:00.000-05:00

I seriously lived for the day this magazine came in the mail every month. I would set aside a full hour, have my snack of choice, be home alone, and revel in all of the design wonderfulness and creativity that was to be found in Domino. Now, this is no more. I am officially depressed.

At least the New York Times cares:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/05/garden/05domino.html

Well, although I will have more free time, I will have lost all of my design sense. Great. Back to boring as toast decor.

The walk home from school

2009-01-18T22:38:00.000-05:00

This is my time to think, catch up with people, bitch about school with friends, etc. My mom is always curious about what it looks like because I almost always have something to say (i.e. the first leaf color change, the first snow, the first time I thought the wind felt like knives against my face) regarding the weather. Living over here in the northeast has made me a weather channel fiend. Love it. So anyhow, here is a photo of my walk home everyday, taken on a nice Thursday afternoon this week where it was actually -1 F outside. But beautiful.

On another note, I start school tomorrow, as well as the ULI (Urban Land Institute) Design Competition, which should be pretty intense. Two weeks of staying in the basement working on concepts and designs. Yay. And, I already have homework due before going to class. I guess it's really just to read Obama's urban policy proposals and then write about it, so not too shabby. Well, back at it, I guess. I am anxious. Very.

January is Cold and the Sun is Shining in Ithaca

2009-01-14T14:12:00.000-05:00

This week has been different but I like it. Since returning to Ithaca last Thursday night (scary drive home in the snow, we ran into a snow bank after slipping around on the interstate!) I've had more time than normal to get my life in order. So I've been biding my time until school starts next week by purging the apartment of stuff and dirt, organizing, cooking, and catching up with the steady stream of people trickling back into town. I could almost get used to this life. Almost...

It's nice to be lazy, but I think I would drive myself crazy thinking too much, and wasting too much time getting addicted to television shows that I don't really care about (i.e. Weeds, which I've almost finished the 2nd season in two days.) But I've discovered that making butternut squash soup is really yummy and that Pandora is the best internet radio ever, and I have contemplated some theology questions I've had lately--debating which book to read this week: Christianity and the Social Crisis (Walter Rauschenbusch), The Great Divorce (CS Lewis) or The Art of Loving (Erich Fromm). I feel like I have to finish one, because once school starts I can say goodbye to reading for fun until May.

But this is what real winter is like! I actually love that it is 5 degrees and sunny outside, forcing me to stay in and curl up on the couch and read and cook soups and make our studio more homey, and play board games at night. A friend the other night said that we Californians don't play board games well because we don't have winter. Au contraire! Scotty and I play a mean game of Sequence and we are mustering our skills on Scrabble. So challenge us all you want, eskimos of the northeast.

Well back to life here. It is really great to be back. I actually missed Ithaca. I think California is still home, but not my parents' house, not Kingsburg really, and I don't know about Fresno. I loved seeing everyone, but I am really content with life here in Ithaca. I know Scotty is dying to be back in California, but I could stay here for at least a few more years. Maybe because the winter doldrums haven't come, or I haven't experienced -20 degrees yet. Which I will this week. Yippee.

Hello, Fall and Winter!

2008-11-02T16:39:00.001-05:00

So...life has been a little busy. I completely forgot about the blog in the insanity of school.

But I'm back! I think the number one thing I am learning in graduate school is time management. Well, maybe not the first thing, but it's necessary for survival here...and I've been in survival mode for the past month.

Now that Scott is working full-time as a preschool teacher and part-time at the co-op grocery store, and everything in my classes is starting to snowball, we feel like we are always running around and trying to see each other for a little bit every day. Crazy!

But, life is good--before everything hit the fan we snuck in a little trip to Toronto and to Niagara Falls in September. Then last month I got to go to Washington, D.C for a class field trip for a few days. And in just over 3 weeks we will be flying home for Thanksgiving and Corey and Lissa's wedding! Time flies.

That's the update, more or less on our lives. We're still finding time to socialize--with our neighbors across the hallway in our apartment building and with friends of mine in the department. Everyone loves a good party here so we are struggling to find this little thing you might call balance. I'm hearing the motto at Cornell is 'work hard, play hard' and I find that to be very true.

On a weather note, fall is amazing and I will post pictures of the gloriousness around here, but it snowed last week!! Actual snow. It didn't really stick to the ground though, although it will soon.

I miss everyone dearly! Yesterday I was listening to Switchfoot, which always reminds me of California for some reason, and it really made me nostalgic for my old life. I really already feel like a different person, which is somewhat strange for both Scotty and I as we are trying to figure out our identity here in a new place where no one knew us before. It's a really awkward time that we are trying to navigate and although it is tumultuous we somehow are getting through each day.

But it all comes back to balance. Maybe someday we'll figure it out. For now we just have to get to Thanksgiving alive and not completely overworked.

Ithacan Life

2008-08-27T12:15:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow will make two weeks since we have arrived in Ithaca. It's hard to believe. I haven't even started school yet and Scott has not started work yet either (we think he's working at Starbucks, yay!). So you might be wondering what we have been doing with our time and why we haven't blogged more or emailed more...

We found the farmer's market on Cayuga Lake on Saturday mornings which is the most amazing thing ever. Yummy blueberries, TONS of people, really good peanut lime noodles and cranberry iced tea. Beautiful scenery. Everyone has told us about the horrendous winters here but forgot to mention the gorgeous summers! It's still very green, sunny, and pleasant outside with an average temp of about 75 degrees. It's only rained twice, and usually at night or in the early morning so the rest of the day is nice.

I started my official orientation for my program last Saturday. Apparently, the CRP department has a reputation at Cornell for being the most social group on campus, so we have to live up to that with a social outing everyday. After being a bio major with all of the science people (I do love them but they are often anti-social) this is refreshing! Everyone I've met so far in our class of 34 is great and nice, interesting, and personable. It's quite intimidating because almost everyone has lived outside of the U.S. for some time in their life and speaks at least one other language besides English. However, when they found out I was a city planner, they always are interested in that (I'm the only one who has actually worked as a planner!)

And then there is always organizing our apartment. I like to call it "tetris for real life" because it is almost impossible to fit everything we own in 690 square feet. But so far, we really like our apartment--and with this view, how can you not? Plus, we have some fun neighbors to make it interesting.

So adjusting hasn't been too difficult yet. At least for myself, it probably helps that I'm flying back to California on Friday so I don't feel trapped here yet. Scotty is doing great because Ithaca is a pretty fun place to be right now and it is not too different from SLO. Except I would say SLO is more upscale because they have Sephora and Banana on the main shopping street and we have hemp stores and homemade craft galleries. But word on the street is that they are putting an Urban Outfitters on the first story of our building which is pretty cool for me. Not cool for our bank account. We'll see.

For now I'm just pretty stoked to be in the academic environment again. I do miss California already (and last night we rented "A Day Without a Mexican" from the library which is pretty funny and interesting) which made us think of home even more. But we'll be back someday....

Dani & Scotty: Coast to Coast

2008-08-14T21:19:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe how much has happened in such a short period of time.

1) We take on Portugal and Barcelona and find them to be quite nice places to visit. Maybe live. Just kidding family.

2) Bump alert: Sarah. (for those of you who do not read Us Weekly, this means pregnant).

3) Become unemployed. Very bittersweet. Being a city planner (and for Fresno at that) was a great place to spend my time the last year and a half.

4) Pack up and leave California (most stressful experience, ever.)

5) See 12 states. Eat breakfast with Chris/Stew in Boulder. Decide that spending an extra $100 to stay in Chicago was worth every penny. LOVE Chicago. Stop at Notre Dame. And Cleveland, which is surprisingly nice. Wonder when the cornfields will stop. Realize they don't, as I saw some in New York.

6) Arrive in Ithaca, New York. Find out that our apartment really is an aquarium and we are the fish. Get library cards because it is next door to us! Eat dinner at Jimmy Johns which Yvette and Robyn first introduced me to in Clovis. Sit at Starbucks and write emails and this blog.

I'm so relieved we made it. It seems like now we can go on with our normal lives. Being in a car for 6 days was a little much, after everything else that has happened. But I think we're both ready for normal...whatever that means here. It's kind of funny, we know like 2 people in Ithaca (and both work in our apartments), and we ran into both of them walking around downtown tonight. I wonder if that is an indication of how things go around here.

Regarding the pictures....they will be coming!

Travel? Travel?

2008-06-15T03:27:00.000-04:00

Today was our last official "hangout" day in Fresno. I have to admit, last night I got pretty melancholy as I started packing while eating my hot cheetos and watching Carrie screw things up with Aidan for the millionth time. I mean, I've packed up my stuff several times, to move back and forth from the Valley to San Luis Obispo, and then back again....

I was sad. It took me a minute to recognize the emotion "melancholy". My brain just doesn't get that very often. I feel very blessed to have a "la vie en rose" disposition towards life (thanks, Dad and Grandpa George). It's just that I think seeing our belongings go back into boxes (and realizing how many sweatshirts I own....hello college again!) makes it become very real that we are moving across the country. And I wonder, how many more times am I going to feel this emotion come August?

So today, we did the most Fresno thing you can do: go shopping at River Park (yes, I am ashamed that I didn't say that we didn't try out a new spot in the Tower District, or bike through Fig Garden, or hang out at Woodward Park). Alas, we spent the afternoon basking in bookstores. I LOVE BOOKSTORES. Scotty and I are like little kids in the candy store. Today, we had some goals for buying gifts to help us stay on track. But all roads at the bookstore eventually lead to Travel. (Remember Charlotte, in the bookstore, looking for travel to cover up the fact that she was in the self-help section?) I usually try to hit up the bestsellers and architecture sections first, but Travel always comes next, with an occasional side-trip to religion since it's right there as well. It's especially fun now because we are taking like 3 grand trips in one long Indian summer. Europe first in July, cross-country road trip in August (with stops in Boulder and Chicago), and then upstate New York exploring for the fall foliage. Which, apparently, is amazing. Posts to follow to document the presumed "gloriousness".

Our day in Fresno is done. And our life in Fresno is coming to a close. It's a strange feeling. I'm ready to be moved, literally and spiritually. I'm not sure which direction God is going to take us, but I'm looking forward to that conversation. Or maybe, it won't be a conversation. I will have to listen for a change, as the world familiar to me is gone. I think that will be good.

My Life on the B List

2008-05-07T02:19:00.000-04:00

Okay, so Monique and Mom thought my humor was funny on the last two entries I wrote, so I felt like I had to keep it going with another laugh-inducing post. And with a title like that, how can I go wrong, right? (Is there an acronym for sarcastic remark? There's one for laughing out loud [LOL] and laughing my ass off [LMAO] but not one for 'that was sarcastic'.)

But it really is true. I mean, planners really are on the B list when it comes to social circles. We know political figures (although not in the schmoozy way that most others have encountered them). We are in the Fresno Bee or on the news, but never in the headlines. People occasionally blog about us. But when you go to a dinner party, or just hang out with some friends/acquaintences, and you have to explain your job, the inevitable question pops up every time: what the heck is a planner? Do you, like, plan events?

No. We plan LIFE.

It's so funny, though, because we planners usually take our jobs so seriously, and have to try to explain that our field is a hybrid between architecture, engineering, and landscape architecture, but on a broader scale. After a few minutes of blank stare, I'll usually draw an analogy with the game Sim City, which takes the glaze away. Or for the less technologically saavy, I usually just say "I try to make Fresno pretty."

Back to taking our job so seriously, I really do think we have a B-list complex as professionals--I mean, the one article I have posted in my cubicle reads "Planners Can Save the World" (in reference to, of course, our efforts to stop global climate change through requiring more bike lanes and thus more alternative modes of transportation) and the most recent article I read on Planetizen (our trade website) today was entitled: "Can Planners Save the Overlooked Masses?". You know, it's tough bearing the weight of the world on our shoulders from 8 to 5.

(Please sense the sarcasm and satirical tone at this point.)

But honestly, I am just really excited to be in a field where we are taking on the challenges that seem really impossible, like making Fresno more bike and pedestrian friendly, and eventually, undercovering the dynamics that make southwest Fresno what it is now and helping to make it a vibrant community in the future.

I just wish it was more clear cut! How on earth do you maneuver through the politics with a clear conscience?

That's something I think I'm going to be grappling with for awhile. I think Cornell will be a nice break, a completely different perspective, and hopefully some new experience in different political climates.

Enough philosophy.

If you see Scotty this week, give him a huge hug. He's been working major overtime for the end of his credential. I really think this guy could convince a KKK member to like Martin Luther King. No really--watch the link! He's so dedicated, I was making dinner the other night, and he made me listen to a podcast of a MLK speech while he was in the shower so that we could talk about it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdMrWVJ2oHk

Public Meetings? Count me out.

2008-04-25T01:22:00.000-04:00

Seriously. I think I hit one too many tonight. I've always been one to get extremely uncomfortable when people are arguing in front of me (but I always wanted to be a lawyer?). But I still chose to enter a profession where people like to think you are ridiculously stupid and yell at you because, you are a public servant. And a profession which requires countless hours of mediation between different interests and being extremely diplomatic. I'm taking off my diplomat hat off for a bit.

Tonight completely sucked!

I'm not going to go into the gory details, it will make me more frustrated. That being said, usually working with the public is pretty rewarding. Occasionally, I get yelled at for no particular reason just because someone thinks their taxes pay my salary (which they don't, for better or worse, development fees do). Sigh. I do like to help people. Honestly. But when they are yelling at me (and my co-workers) for something they do not understand, but something that we are schooled in, and practice on a daily basis-- I find that hard to just swallow. Really makes turn the other cheek come alive, I guess. And since community development is my fate in life, I guess I better accept it now. I'm hoping that maybe it's just a Fresno thing, and the people here will grow out of it eventually (and think, read, or educate themselves before speaking)....but let's not hold our breath.

On a happier note, how amazingly awesome was The Office tonight? BEST NIGHT EVER. :) And I'm getting more into 30 Rock, especially since Will Arnett, BEST ACTOR EVER was on tonight.

Back and at it!

2008-04-23T22:46:00.000-04:00

I'm back, after a brief (9 month) hiatus. But so much has happened since then, it's overwhelming! Scotty and I got married, I became an auntie, applied to grad schools, got accepted to grad schools, and then just decided to move to New York [state] to attend Cornell! (I feel I have to clarify, because everyone assumes that New York is New York City, and Ithaca is far, far, far from being NYC).

I'm pretty stoked on Cornell. I think the thing that excites me the most is that I can be just like Andy Bernard [The Office] and always brag about my Cornell status. Not really. But when people are like, what? Where's that? I just remind them of the most famous alum of Cornell. And, I guess Janet Reno too. But most people (at least my kind of people) think Will Ferrell boxing Rudy Giuliani when they think of Janet Reno.

But, that is still a good 4 months away from now! I have to keep reminding myself (with Scotty's help) that we still have some solid time here in California to savor. And we're going to Europe in July, which seems like it has been overshadowed by our grad school decision! Not to mention, my job is keeping me more than busy lately! It's funny, I told my boss a few weeks ago that I really needed more work. Silly me. They didn't assign anything to me, the work just naturally came. But I am loving it. Neighborhood meetings, public outreaches, working on design guidelines--my job is awesome. Not that my job description doesn't involve being a paper pusher at many times.....but why would I mention that?!

For now, Scott and I are going to be living it up here in Fresno. Dr. Mario 24-7, eating dinner on our tiny balcony in the sun, going to Kingsburg to enjoy the small-town life when we can, seeing all of my valley friends.....and of course, saying dude and like totally awesome all the time, because we can. When we move to New York, Scott has decided that we are really going to have to live up to our California stereotype and just say dude and rad all the time and ride our longboards everywhere and talk like we are major surfers. I'm hoping it will be endearing. Not annoying. We'll see.

Anyways, enough NY talk. It's so hard, but I'm going to try to focus on my life here still, and not on how to arrange the furniture in our new apartment....

2007-07-08T21:49:00.000-04:00

I've always wanted to have a blog. I have a journal, which I write in every so often, but really more so if something large or grandiose happens in my life. In fact, I believe the last entry was the night I got engaged, and the entry before that was the day I graduated from college. I used to frequent the journal much more when my life was ever-so-dramatic-- fights with roommates, getting my heart broken, putting new crushes in the intrigue file, struggling to find my identity and independence, figuring out who God really was and if I wanted him in my life (only to discover that he's not leaving any time soon), deciding what I was going to do in life (should I be a Doctor in a third world country or a lawyer?) and so on and so forth.

Right now, I'm in a place in life where I can't tell if I am apathetic or just plain content. I have my 8 to 5 office job (which, surprisingly enough, I love). Not because of the hours, but because of so many other things, which, I assume, I will write about later. I'm getting married in just about 3 months, which I am quite ecstatic about. Someone asked me the other day if I felt too young to get married, being that I am at the ripe old age of twenty-two. I don't know if I might ever feel completely ready. I am a person who loves new adventures and trying the next step--but at the same time, I'm a very hesitant person at the last minute. Moving away to school was an amazing experience for me--but I don't think I felt ready for it all the day I moved. But I knew myself, that I am very adaptable, that I would be a better person for it, and I don't regret a day. There's an episode of Scrubs that really describes the feeling I have about getting married. I believe it's in the second season--Carla has turned down a million proposals from Turk, and cannot figure out why she keeps rejecting the guy she loves more than anything. There's a moment she has at the nurses station where I don't think she's even talking to anyone in particular, maybe Elliot- where she acknowledges her fears and realizes that despite them all, she still only wants to be with Turk, more than anything. That monologue, I must say, was quite profound for Scrubs.

I suppose I best be getting back to enjoying my Sunday evening in typical summer fashion: barbeque, playing with photoshop, and trying to escape Parker the Psycho Puppy.